I feel like my life would be so much more beautiful, if I just let myself be happy. I do not put the effort on my appearance and then complain about guys being superficial. I have a million things I want to pursue but do not do them. Instead, I make excuses. I am not happy but that is because happiness takes effort. You have to fake it until you feel it. You have to fake the smiles, act confident, look good, and then you can feel good. But, I do not do any of this despite knowing it will change my life for better. I think I have learned to wallow in self-pity. So, yeah I sabotage my own happiness, criticize myself but do not do anything about it. Today, I realized you need to put as much effort in yourself as you do in your job, education and your family. I am giving myself 2 weeks to make some meaningful changes and break the bad habits. I’ll let you know if I succeed or fail.