Brown Parent Quirks: No privacy

Indian parents do not believe their children need privacy. This means bedroom doors must remain open. If they are closed, it is perfectly okay to come without knocking. I am an adult but my parents still come to my room without knocking first.

Dad (opens door without knocking): Beta, Did you eat?

Me (annoyed): No, I did not. I’ll eat later.

Dad: Why keep the door closed? Don’t you feel suffocated? Keep it open so air can circulate.

Me:

 

BTW, if you are alone in your bedroom and doing something on your laptop, parents will assume the worst. What are you watching? You avoid bad sites, right? Sorry to disappoint you but I am not watching porn. Look, I am on WordPress. Ah, desi parents are a hoot.

 

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Happy Father’s Day

Go embarrass your dad with this cheesy Bollywood song. I did a rendition of this song today and my dad’s face was priceless.

Me and my siblings write cheeky cards for my dad and this year my brother wrote the most awful yet extremely hilarious father’s day card using Google translator for Hindi.  Instead of writing your son in Hindi, he wrote our son. Although that wasn’t the only mistake he made. Seriously though, appreciate your dad by giving him a nice present. They may not outwardly express it but they do enjoy getting a thoughtful present from their kids.

Indian Aunties and Wedding Proposals

Yesterday, I went to a close family friend’s home. We were invited for dinner and since their house is only a year old, they were giving us valuable suggestions. The lovely Mistress of that home, the auntiji asked my mom when I will be getting married?  Have they started looking for a suitable rishta ( marriage proposal)? My Mom told her I will get married when they find a handsome billionaire. My mom is awesome. Anyway, my worst nightmare is starting to come true. All of my family friends and relatives are starting to inquire about my single status. Leave me alone, people! I do not want to get married anytime soon.

I applaud my mom trolling auntiji’s

Mother’s Day Presents for Frugal Mama

So, Mother’s Day is this weekend on Sunday. I am sure most people have already bought something for their lovely moms. If not, go buy her something nice or at least send her a card and a nice bouquet of flowers. My mother is hard to gift. She only likes something practical and not too expensive. Since, I am a poor student, she doesn’t like me spending money on “extravagant” gifts. I wanted to buy her a perfume but she went ahead and bought it for herself. I would buy her clothes but she would need to pick it herself and I want the presents to be a surprise. She doesn’t like brand name stuff unless it is heavily discounted. My mother would seriously ask me to return the coach wallet I was eyeing.  So, I bought her some practical stuff for the Kitchen. She needs it so she will not find it a waste of money. I guess I will have to clean the whole house and cook something for her. It will give her some time to relax and unwind. We are moving so it is a crazy stressful time for everybody. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and be extra nice to their mothers.

P.S: I almost did not post today because I was feeling lousy. Time is running out and we still have so much packing to do.

I am not a Party Pooper, I swear

Hey, I don’t drink alcohol and I am a vegetarian but that doesn’t mean you should stop inviting me to your parties. No, vegetarians cannot eat Fish or Chicken. No, it doesn’t matter if you call yourself a vegetarian but have meat once a week. Look, never-mind  I don’t need alcohol to have fun. I get high on sugar and spice and all things nice. No, I am Indian, I really do like spice. I can have fun.

I can dance while watching Jeopardy!

Dear readers, I have another announcement to make, I am moving. No, not moving the blog. I am moving to a new place (Our brand new home) because the place we are renting is gross and has rats, ants and other creepy bugs. Yuck!So, there might not be regular updates because I am busy. I will be moving at the end of May so that is when I will probably go an 2-day hiatus. I will have no internet connection. Sob! Sob! I hope it will be only 2 days because more then writing,I enjoy reading your blogs.

Brown Parent Quirks: Ethnocentrism

Brown parents can be very ethnocentric. My parents are from India and according to them, everything of value came out of India.

I am watching TV. Suddenly, they are talking about yoga.

Dad: Our ancestors created yoga. We also created the number zero. Our shastras (vedic textbooks) talked about earth being round and revolving around the sun. We were far ahead of Medieval Europe.

Me: Yes, I know that

Dad: Look, the whole world does yoga and meditation but we Hindus created it. We also have the best food, clothing. The way we celebrate our festivals, our culture is amazing.

Me: Yes?????(Not seeing his point)

Dad: India is not all just negative. There is good stuff too.  We actually have family values.

Me: Okay.

Dad: You should talk about good things from India in front of others.

I don’t get the let’s praise India in front of others mentality. I like to talk about the negative aspects of society because I want to bring attention to them. India is very dear to me. I was born there and most of my family still lives there. I want India to be a better place for them. I love Canada as well which is why I blogged about Rahtaeh Parsons case. Both countries have many good things that are admirable but they can both improve in other aspects. India just has more harrowing challenges then Canada. Anyway, all cultures have given us something beautiful and I get to enjoy that. YAY for Toronto being a diverse city.

Trying new things isn’t always so easy

I am a picky eater. I am also vegetarian. This means that I quite consciously exclude certain food groups from my diet. However, despite being a vegetarian, I will try something new once. This was a rule my parents came up with when I was young. So, I tried vegetarian sushi yesterday. My brother who had sushi before liked it a lot. So, in some ways I was excited to try it. Anyway, the whole experience was rather gross. Since, I paid for most of the food, I felt a lot of regret. I could have gone for Dosa or some Ravioli. In hindsight, it was a waste of money, yet I did gain a valuable experience. I tried a new cuisine, didn’t like it. Now, I know I hate Sushi. Anyway, despite the terrible experience of last night, I will keep trying new things. I want to try some Korean dishes but I’ll get my mom to prepare them at home. I don’t enjoy paying money for terrible food. Anyway, I heard some dishes in Korea use gochujang(a spicy red pepper paste). Yeah, I just need to stick with spicy foods or dishes with lots of cheese and butter. Now, I am craving quiche. Dang it!

Have you ever had a terrible experience with certain cuisine? Was it too spicy or bland for you? Was it the texture that made the dish horrible?

Brown Parent Quirks: Comparing children

Brown parents have a habit of comparing their children to other relatives/friends/neighbors/colleagues offspring.

Typical conversations in our family.

Mom: You know my friend at work. Her daughter is 12 but cooks all the food at home. Look at you, you are so old but lazy.

Me: Mom, I am busy with school.

Mom: Busy? You just laze around. Go learn to cook some dal.

——————————————————————————————–

Dad: You know our neighbor  I was talking to him and he has a daughter around your age. She is a pharmacist. You know she has a good job and makes lots of money.

Me: But, I love History and Political Science.

Dad: What will you do with a B.A? At least go to Teacher’s college?

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Both Parents (when they vacationed in India): We saw some of your childhood friends from India. They are so smart, mature and pretty. Look at you? Who will marry you?

Me: Who wants to get married? Not me. Nope.

Mom (Horrified): Don’t say that! You will get married. Not now but eventually. If you follow my advice, you will be healthy and pretty.

 

My parents are perpetually annoyed with me

 

Brown Parent Quirks: Overfeeding kids

During Dinner

Mom: You are only eating this much?

Me: I am not that hungry.

Mom(putting more food on my plate): You are too skinny. Look at your bony wrist. Eat more.

15 minutes later

Me: I cannot finish this. Ah, my stomach hurts.

Mom: See, I told you don’t eat much. How can your stomach hurt by only eating this little?

Dad: Finish your dinner. Don’t waste it.

Me: Putting my leftovers in the fridge. I”l eat it later.

 

Next Day…

Me: Mom, where are my leftovers?

Mom: Your Dad ate it.

Dad: You didn’t want it in first place.

Sorry kiddo

I think most South Asian parents overstuff their kids because they did not have enough food  as children. Moreover with so much poverty and malnutrition in South Asia, being well-fed is a sign of prosperity.

 

Brown Parent Quirks: Discussing Bowel Movements Publicly

Your parents can embarrass you in ways that no one can. My parents love discussing the bowel movements of their children. This is a typical conversation in my family.

Me: My stomach hurts.

Dad: Did you go the bathroom?

Me (embarrassed): Yes, Dad.

Dad: It’s probably constipation. Go, drink some water and try again.

Me (defensive): It could be something else…Maybe I ate something…

Dad: Nah, pretty sure its constipation. By the way, I asked at work and my colleague told me about this home cure. She said your daughter’s stomach will feel better.

Me (mortified and angry): Why do you have to do this? Why? Stop talking about me at work!

 

My parents cracked jokes about this topic with their friends in front of me. They are so mean.

 

P.S: I will do a follow up to my previous post. I just need time to edit my draft.