Indian parents do not believe their children need privacy. This means bedroom doors must remain open. If they are closed, it is perfectly okay to come without knocking. I am an adult but my parents still come to my room without knocking first.
Dad (opens door without knocking): Beta, Did you eat?
Me (annoyed): No, I did not. I’ll eat later.
Dad: Why keep the door closed? Don’t you feel suffocated? Keep it open so air can circulate.
BTW, if you are alone in your bedroom and doing something on your laptop, parents will assume the worst. What are you watching? You avoid bad sites, right? Sorry to disappoint you but I am not watching porn. Look, I am on WordPress. Ah, desi parents are a hoot.
Go embarrass your dad with this cheesy Bollywood song. I did a rendition of this song today and my dad’s face was priceless.
Me and my siblings write cheeky cards for my dad and this year my brother wrote the most awful yet extremely hilarious father’s day card using Google translator for Hindi. Instead of writing your son in Hindi, he wrote our son. Although that wasn’t the only mistake he made. Seriously though, appreciate your dad by giving him a nice present. They may not outwardly express it but they do enjoy getting a thoughtful present from their kids.
So, Mother’s Day is this weekend on Sunday. I am sure most people have already bought something for their lovely moms. If not, go buy her something nice or at least send her a card and a nice bouquet of flowers. My mother is hard to gift. She only likes something practical and not too expensive. Since, I am a poor student, she doesn’t like me spending money on “extravagant” gifts. I wanted to buy her a perfume but she went ahead and bought it for herself. I would buy her clothes but she would need to pick it herself and I want the presents to be a surprise. She doesn’t like brand name stuff unless it is heavily discounted. My mother would seriously ask me to return the coach wallet I was eyeing. So, I bought her some practical stuff for the Kitchen. She needs it so she will not find it a waste of money. I guess I will have to clean the whole house and cook something for her. It will give her some time to relax and unwind. We are moving so it is a crazy stressful time for everybody. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys their weekend and be extra nice to their mothers.
P.S: I almost did not post today because I was feeling lousy. Time is running out and we still have so much packing to do.
Brown parents do not accept mediocre results from you. That B you got on your test might as well be an F. In the eyes of Indian parents, nothing short of an A will satisfy them. I remember when I had to switch High School after my parents moved. The guidance counselor from the new school told me I had good grades but I needed to do more extracurricular activities. My dad was so perplexed when he heard that. He kept muttering to himself that I had a B in math. How could this counselor call me a good student? I am a fairly recent graduate from University. I majored in History and Political Science. My parents were not happy with my decision but nevertheless supported me. My dad recently told me he would like me to go to Law school. I am pondering over it. This fall, I will go back to do a Post-graduate diploma and Co-Op. But now I am thinking after that course, should I study for LSAT? I did want to be a Judge when I was a little girl. Nah, I just wanted my own gavel. Anyway, Indian parents are a lot like East Asian parents. They expect excellence and you need to deliver it.
P.S: My parents are a lot less strict then some parents. None of my siblings went into some science program. So yeah, they are very easy going.
My Dad called me yesterday from work. He works at a dairy company that provides products to some fancy schmancy restaurants in Toronto.
Dad: Hello, beta, can you tell me what the proper word for thick milk is. Gadda Doodh? You know?
Me: Whole milk?
Dad: Can you please check?
Me: 1-minute Google search confirms that Whole milk is the right word. The milk contains 50% fat content; hence it is thicker in consistency then skim milk.
I call my dad and tell him that the right word is whole milk. What baffled me about the whole conversation was that my dad’s office has computers. They also have internet access yet my dad calls me. This isn’t the first time. I also function as a spell check. Beta, what is the proper spelling of this word? I don’t know. My spelling is atrocious. I use Microsoft Word with spell check or Google to see if I am spelling correctly. My sister told me that if I am not available, he will call her and ask her for the spelling of certain words. Should we feel honored that we are more valuable than Google or just annoyed?
Your parents can embarrass you in ways that no one can. My parents love discussing the bowel movements of their children. This is a typical conversation in my family.
Me: My stomach hurts.
Dad: Did you go the bathroom?
Me (embarrassed): Yes, Dad.
Dad: It’s probably constipation. Go, drink some water and try again.
Me (defensive): It could be something else…Maybe I ate something…
Dad: Nah, pretty sure its constipation. By the way, I asked at work and my colleague told me about this home cure. She said your daughter’s stomach will feel better.
Me (mortified and angry): Why do you have to do this? Why? Stop talking about me at work!
My parents cracked jokes about this topic with their friends in front of me. They are so mean.
P.S: I will do a follow up to my previous post. I just need time to edit my draft.
Mom calling on the phone: Beta, you are late today?
Me: Yeah, my classes just ended. I will get the bus soon.
Mom: Too late! Why will they have classes so late? Kids should be at home by 8pm, especially young girls.
Me: Mom, I am not a kid but an adult. Also, this is Toronto. There are plenty of people outside.
Mom: You are a kid. You are not an adult until I say so. When you get married, then we will see if you are an adult.
BTW, My mom worries about my safety even when I walk down the block. We will be moving to a new place in a month or so. Maybe she will stop worrying????
P.S: I woke up today feeling quite unwell. I have a stuffy nose, sore throat and itchy eyes. I don’t know if it is allergies? Anyhow, I will be going to see my family doctor. I may or may not have a post up tomorrow. I will see if I am feeling better.
One of the quirks of my parent that both amuses me and annoys me is their inability to learn and use technology.
Dad: Beta, can you come down please? Beta, Beta, please, come down. I’ve been calling you for soooo long. Come down.
Me: Dad, what?
Dad: Can you put this DVD on.
Me: Seriously, Dad you called me for this.
Dad: You guys are so lazy. You do nothing around the house. I ask you to do a little thing. All you do is complain, complain. When you have kids, you will know.
Me: Okay, I’ll teach you again. You click the on button. Then you click open. You put the DVD in…
Two days later
Beta, come down please. I clicked the wrong button. Look what happened to the TV…
So, the cycle repeats itself.
P.S: My name is not Beta. It is the Hindi word for son or child. Beti is the Hindi word for daughter. But, since I was a tomboy when I was little, they affectionately sometime call me Beta.